Healing my wounded </3

that is SHIT!

to see it real check this URL:

http://wikimapia.org/#lat=14.208445&lon=121.1144078&z=18&l=0&m=a&v=2&show=/1047901/Mary-Help-of-Christians-School&search=Mar%20help%20of%20christian%20school

Okay, that is shit! Sino namang magaling na lalake ang magsasabi nan sa mga Taga Mary Help? Fine 13 months ago na pala yan naicomment sa wikimapia, kahit na ‘no!? Nakakainis pa rin yan sa mga taga maryhelp na katulad ko sinabihan pa naman kaming pok2?! aba teka ibang usapan na yan. Porket toot ka, all boys kayo hindi ibig sabihin kapag all girls*dati* eh ganun na ang mga ugali. Kung gusto mong linisin ang iyong pangalan magpakilala ka. *as if* haha! Naiinis lang kasi ako, sasabihan talaga kami ng mga rude comments? buti nga sainyo hindi kami nag cocomment. dammit! Anyway, wag na lang natin sila pansinin matagal na comment na rin naman yan.. Pasensya kung nag waste kayo ng time to read this non sense blog entry of mine.

As my title says, 2008 is not a good year for us though a baby was sent to us, and that is the daughter of my Kuya, Kishance Johnerine Villena. It’s been a year when my kuya have an accident, motor accident. He was here in canlubang, the accident happened month of  January, 2 days before my mama’s  birthday. Kuya and his friends celebrated, because my kuya has a job, another job, he was a layout artist in a tabloid, then he still looking for a job that he really wants, so that night he and his friends celebrated. I was in the room of my parents, watching TV or maybe i was texting to my boyfriend. I went outside, when i saw my cousin, i asked him that where is kuya, he answered me “Wala pa eh, baka nasa ininuman pa”. I went back to the room, and i feel something bad, really. I didn’t say anything to my family members. I was nervous that something is wrong. My parents is already here, and my kuya is not here. They we’re both panicing when some called my mom. They immedietly went back to the car and go to the hospital. First i ask mama what is happening, she answered that kuya was in the hospital, though she is talking to someone. When i heard that, i go the room and somewhat i prayed for my kuya. I sent some gms to my friends, that they may include my kuya to their prayers. So after a days, i went to the hospital and visit my kuya at the ICU. He is in the ICU, still in the ICU when i visited him. I really, don’t want to come near him, but my mama, says that if i’m always, at the hospital, making some check ups because i’m so “sakitin” he is worried about me. So that’s my only way, to pay him back. I hugged him. It was schooldays when he is in the hospital. My cousins, tita’s went here in laguna just to visit him, the family of ate Sarie, went here too, to visit him and his officemates too. This is the funny part about going there. Me and my boyfriend, at that time, was texting, he was in the pratice at that time, my parents wants me to go there to take care of my kuya. So i texted him * We’re not legal* i said to him that i may go to the hospital, and he asked that we can come together, though the subdivision/ there house is near to the hospital. So we go there together, he was like avoiding me when we are near, thank GOD that he was avoiding me, because my Tita and Ate was there, walking because my tita is going home. hahaha! Anyway, my kuya stayed at the hospital almost a month. Second, tragedy was happened, when my Lolo died last May of 2008. Yes, he died, after my mama’s therapies. My mama undergo some therapy, like chemo and radiation because the doctor found some cancerous thing at My mama’s body, but thank god it was GONE. Anyway, after a long therapy, my mama told my lolo that after her therapy, He will be hospitalized. But My lolo just waited Mama to be healthy again. My mama went to there house, it is near to our house. I really don’t Happened, i was in the Quezon City making some vacation. My 2 sister was texting me, my eldest sister called me twice but i didn’t have the chance to answer it because my phone is out of  battery. I was sad when i heard that from my papa. I feel some happiness when i saw the friends of my Lolo, his siblings. Even though they are a broken family, they are still there. The third and the shocking tragedy happened to us was when my Tita died. It is so unexpected to us, i was in the school, when my mama texted us that tita was in the ICU. I’m not feelin’ well that time, and my friends want me to go to the clinic, and unexpectedly, i feel weak and i was chilling. So the school doctor says that i should a rest for a day, but first i went to the hospital where my tita was confined. It was all gone, but her heart is still beating. That was the last thing that i know about tita I didn’t see her, i want to hug her but the visiting hours is over. My two tita is crying so hard, and  Papa? He keeps his feelings but at the end he cried I was asking myself why this is happening? It was the 3rd tragedy that was happened to us. I kept on thinking, why tita? My most beloved tita that was my 2nd mother who treats me like her own child. Though when i was still a baby, Yeng yeng and bikoy was still not here in the world. I really cried so hard when my mama texted me that she is gone. That God was welcoming her. Tita just waited to lola. I really don’t know why this 3 tragedies happened in only a year. That’s why 2008 is not really a good year for us, some advantages that i saw is Our family and kamaganaks, we’re close na. I missed my Lolo and Tita.

Playfish games @ FB. The first game that i played is the Pet society, well until now is i’m playing it. I always name my pet or something role playing games is Babs, the history of that name, i was thinking of something, me and my tropa will be remembered, so i remember our endearments, “Baboys” haha! Its funny? yeah i know, but that’s what we call each other. Anyway, my pet babs, she is a pig, of course. She’s pink and cute.

Babs @ her bedroom

That’s Babs, my pet in pet society, I’ve been addicted to that game, even though i’ve got lots of games there in FB, like yoville? Fashion wars, Mafia wars, Sorority Life and etc. Another Playfish game that I’m enjoying for now is the Restaurant City, yes, i’m enjoying it now. I don’t have any screenshot from that game ’cause i’m to lazy to get haha! There are lots of games there in playfish games.

I’m enjoying the FB for now, that i forgetting someone that i would like to forget. Haha! Guess who’s that? Lalala. Anyway, playing at FB especially at playfish makes me happy and serious about it, i’m forgetting some things but not taking a bath, and to eat of course! But sometimes i’m too lazy to eat my dinneror my lunch just because of playing pet society or any games at FB. So i don’t know how will i end this blog entry of mine. haha!

Together again?

Together again with my tropa, but someone is missing. Lala! Yes, Kevin and Pobby, thoug pobby can’t go with us talaga because she’s broke daw, haha! Pare-parehas lang naman kaming broke. And Kevin? hmmm i don’t know if gusto niya pang sumama with us, its okay with me lang naman eh. Lol! I know, i’m still mad at him, but not that much na naman. Basta siya na lang ang bahala.   At the picture, you can see, Elie, Me, Marlou and Maggie, kaming 4 na lang talaga halos ang nag kakasama kapag may gala or tambay at the house of Maggie. Sa front of their house nga pala nila yan. Pag katapos kasi namin mag bike ayan, nag picture picture na lang kami. haha! Masaya naman kaming apat, lalo na siguro if nasa swimming kami. haha! kasi naman eh.

Trio

For me, this is the best shot namin sa picture momentum namin last March 30. Ang cute diba? May space pa, sino kaya ang nandyan dapat? lalala! Guess na lang kung sino? hahaha! Ayun, nakakamkiss lang talaga ‘tong mga picture moments namin, lalo na siguro kapag kumpleto kami. Well, idk kung bakit nagkaganito na ang tropa namin. hahaha! Sino ba ang nag simula? IDK. Bakit parang may napapahiwalay na? haha!.

<3

Ayan silang tatlo, kunwaring stolen shot for Bes, haha! Oo, i know alam niya na kinukunan ko sila nang picture kaya ayan. haha! halata naman diba? Papunta kami kila Iggy that time, ewan kung bakit nga ba kami pumunta, ah oo, sabi nga pala ni Maggie, punta daw kami, haha! Namimiss niya lang si Iggy. Joke! Anyway, nagagandahan lang ako sa kuhang yan. Haha! Si marlou at maggie, busy sa pag uusap, then si Elainn, ayan, may katext, may katext nga ba? hahaha! nakalimutan ko na. Basta ayan, ginabi na naman kami ulit kila Maggie. Buti nga at nakakatambay pa kami kila Maggie eh. haha!

Swimming!

Yey! Swiming at Maggie’s house! Last march 30, ininvite kami ni Maggie na mag swimming sakanila. Yes! Bored din naman kasi ako kaya ayan, pumunta na lang din ako. Pero lagi na lang, pag kami, gumaganda yung panahon, tipong uulan na? haha! Di joke lang. Pero masarap mag swimming, kasi malamig talaga, sayang at hindi na nakahabol si Elainne, sana ayan kasama siya sa picture. Hahaha! Si Marlou, kasama namin that time kaso hindi nag dala ng pampalit kaya wala siya sa picture! Last time naman kasama namin siya, unexpected din yun for me, kasi wala akong dalang pampalit, kaso ayan, pinahiram ako. Take note buti may nagkasya saakin that time, haha! Sa Taba kong ‘to? haha! Yes naman, aminado akong mataba ako. Bakit hindi diba? mataba naman talaga ako. haha! Ayan wala na akong maiikwento. hahaha! Gusto ko pa sana mag kwento ng happy moments ko kaso wala na eh. Wala nang pictures. lol! Pag bigyan na! minsan lang mag post ng happy moments ko. haha! <3rainy

Tama na ang mga dramang dumadating saaking buhay. Puro na lang malulungkot ang naipopost ko sa aking blog. Masaya naman ang ipost ko oh? sawa na ako sa drama! Ang drama kasi nang aking love life. Nakakainis naman kasi yung mga nangyayari saakin. Wala ng magandang naidudulot saakin. Hindi ko na gusto ang masyadong madrama sa buhay. Ano nga ang ipopost kong maganda dito saaking blog? wala naman. Wala magandang nangyayari saakin ngayon. kaya nga ito ako nagdudusa sa mga nangyayari sa buhay pag ibig ko. Nag sawa na rin ako sa topic na pag ibig, haha! Sawakas nagsawa rin ako, para bang ayaw ko na rin kasing pag usapan, baka lalo akong hindi makapag move on. Taena kasing buhay ‘to oh!

Ayoko na ng drama saaking buhay!

Texting with him last night *March 30, 2009* is hard.Wanna know why?

I decided to tell him that i love him, STILL love him. So last night i texted him.

Me: Jb?

HIM: Yo! Haha. Lorraine!

Me: tinext mo ako yesterday, right? di lang ako nag reply.

HIM: Haha. Bkt nmn?

Me: Gusto ko eh, hindi lang naman ikaw ang hindi ko nireplyan. Wala akong tinetext yesterday kahit unli ako.

HIM: So ayaw mo lang magreply? Ganun?

Me: Yup. Tsaka I’m with my cousins kasi.

HIM: Ah. Okay. Haha. Kamusta ka na? ϋ

Me: I’m good naman happy with my life.

HIM: Oh. Haha. Kamusta ang pakikipagkita kna elainne? ϋ

Me: Masaya naman. Nakapagbonding ulit kaming 4.

HIM: 4? 4 nln kau? Haha

Me: Uhm hindi naman sila macontact. kaya kaming apat lang talaga halos nagkakasama.

HIM: Di ba galit ka kna kevin jan dati? Hahahahaha :p

Me: Nag sorry naman saakin si marlou. Idk with kevin if balak niya pang magsorry.

HIM: Hahahaha, so technically, ur still mad at kevin jan? :p

Me: Not really.

HIM: Haha. Okay. ϋ Haven’t heard frm u since e :p. Prang taon na. Haha

Me: Sobra ka naman. Ano bang mababalitaan mu saakin? Eh ganun pa rin naman ako. Wala naman nagbabago.

HIM: Okay. Edi wala nang balita sau. I get ur point. Haha

Me: Bakit? May bali-balita ba about me? Haha. I think wala naman.

HIM: Kya nga aq nagttnong e. Dba

Me: Right. Anyway, alam mu bang may sasabihin ako sayo kaya din tinext kita today? haha.

Pero wag kang magugulat sa sasabihin ko.

HIM: What’s that?

Go..

Me: Remember nung naikwento ko na napapaginipan kita? 2 times diba? Ilang months ko rin ‘to balak sabihin pero hindi ko kayang sabihin. Sorry to tell this jb, mahal pa rin kita, tama nga si marian. That’s why hindi kita tinetext or nirereplyan, kasi gusto ko na rin makalimot, i know wala na talaga, i guess may bago kana, ayt? its okay for me, siguro nga na maging na lang ako para sayo, kahit masakit. Pilit naman kitang kalimutan eh, kaso sadyang bumabalik, alam mu yun? ito yung cycle, nakakalimutan ka-mawawala na-magtetext ka, makikita kitang online, updates mo sa fs-iiyak-hurting-bitterness-busy at balik kalimut. kaya nga hirap na hirap akong makalimutan ka jb, sana maintindihan mo. =| hindi ko alam kung dapat ko nga bang sabihin saiyo ‘to, pero kasi sa ikakabuti ko rin siguro, para naman siguro mabunutan ako ng tinik at makahinga ng malalim kahit masakit.

Sorry kung mahaba, gusto ko kasi isahang text na lang. pasensya na.

HIM: Uh, what happened to franz? Diba siya nga ung taong ngpasaya sau ng sobra, ndi ba? Cnb m dn un sknya?

Anu ba. Okay lang. ϋ. Express everything u feel, mapahaba man o mapaikli ang text

Me: Narealize ko lang naman na mahal kita mga december last year. Look, inisip ko kung bakit kita napanaginapan nung night after tayo nag kita? Inisip ko talaga, and my friends told me, na baka mahal pa nga kita, sila elainne alam yun, inisip ko kung bakit, i did not find any answer why?.

HIM: Well, haha. Anu ba. Are you telling me that we can’t be friends anymore kc gusto mko iwasan? Haha

Me:We can be friends pa naman, pero kasi, nahihirapan akong magmove on eh.

HIM: Haha. So, pg nsa rob manila ako, d nnmn ako rereplyan? haha

Me: Bakit pumupunta ka ba ng rob manila? Taena, Jb, anu gusto mung gawin ko? Magpakatanga? Mahirapan? Masaktan? Jb hirap na hirap na ako magmove on.

HIM: E pmpnta aq dun e. Haha. Edi ndi na. Hehe. The Only time i can see u nman ay pag ksma ko c karla e. Hahaha.

Me: The only time YOU can SEE me is when your with karla?

HIM: Oo. Hehe. Naturally. I tell her everything eh. Ayoko naman makipagkita sa ex ko ng d siya kasama. Bka magduda siya. Hehe.

Me: Ewan ko Jb. Hindi ko alam kung pinapahirapan mu ako eh. Edi kung ganun ang mangyayri wag na lang, masasaktan lang ako. Well, wala na rin naman akong balak makipagkita sayo jb eh. I need time to heal my wounds. Hindi yung pagtalikod niyo, nito iiyak nanaman ako dahil nasaktan nanaman ako. Hahanpin ko nanaman si Elainne, para mapagsabihan ng nararamdaman ko. Ang hirap Jb.

HIM: Okay. Hehe. Just, see me nmn pg nsa canlubang ako or nsa san pedro ka. im dying to see that simle of urs.

Hey, sorry sa pgpapalagay sau sa kalagayan na ito

Bakit ganun siya? Seryoso ako, mangiyak ngiyak ako kausapin siya tapos siya hindi? Damn! Bakit parang hindi ako nabunutan ng tinik? ganun pa rin yung nararamdaman ko? Parang may kulang? lahat ng gusto kong sabihin ay nasabi ko nasakanya. Bakit?

Hays ewan ko ba.